- all the legit followers who use their google accounts/rss feeds. way to harness technology, even if just for a bit (i'm talking about all you parents)
- the parents for being willing to allow 3 of their sons to cross the country
- con-way freight for giving me (and james) sooo much money to leave. it was like being paid to get out of jail
- nessers for letting james off his leash for awhile
- the rest of the bros for being our bros
- katie for entertaining on looong car drives with texts
- all of jonamania's d-ville posse for reading the blog and checking the pics. maybe one day you'll get to do this yourselves kids. i'd recommend waiting until you are of legal drinking age to get the maximum amount of fun possible. until then, if you've got hot older sisters, please feel free to link them to this blog or get my phone number from jon
- jeep for managing to squeeze out a pretty reliable little 'suv', at least until that warranty is up at 36000 miles and everything goes to hell
- the academy
- and of course, god
Thursday, February 26, 2009
some 2 am shoutouts
i'd like to holler at some people for keeping up to date and caring about whats going on. without you, this wouldnt be possible:
PICS ARE HERE!
i've uploaded pics from Roswell, Carlsbad Caverns, Houston, and San Antonio. The New Orleans pictures are still in the process of getting organized into pics that are family appropriate and not. We'll probably get a few posts up about the stops we made once we get the rest of the trip figured out. Right now we're at a Days Inn in Tampa, FL. For a quick rundown, here's the states/cities we've hit in the 2+ weeks on the road.
States-Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Nevada, California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida
Cities stayed in/visited-St. Louis, Kansas City, Denver, San Diego, Roswell, Grand Canyon (there's a village), Carlsbad, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans, Tampa
I'm probably missing a few here or there but at this point the memory is pretty well fried.
loads of new pics
States-Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Nevada, California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida
Cities stayed in/visited-St. Louis, Kansas City, Denver, San Diego, Roswell, Grand Canyon (there's a village), Carlsbad, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans, Tampa
I'm probably missing a few here or there but at this point the memory is pretty well fried.
loads of new pics
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
pics and posts are coming
people just chill for a bit. we've been blasting across the country hitting everything we can think of. no fear, you'll get the medicine you crave.
as a side note, people in the south fight like a bunch of b-words.
as a side note, people in the south fight like a bunch of b-words.
Friday, February 20, 2009
World's longest post - well worth a read
The story of our departure from San Diego is not so great. In fact, it was a disaster. It is a tale of miscommunication, heartbreak, and law breaking. Fret not, there is a happy ending.
After 5 days off the road Mat, Justin and I were set to hit the road. I wish Dalton had felt the same. Even though he had known about his upcoming move he hadn’t packed a thing up until about 6PM the night before. He swore he would be ready and we would be hitting the road by 10AM at the latest. That’s cool, Grand Canyon isn’t too far (according to our estimations), and as long as we get there with some sunlight left I am happy. I am going to trust my friend
When I wake up a little after 8AM, Dalton seems to be following through with his word. He has showered, changed his oil, cleaned and vacuumed his car and just had to finish a little bit of packing. You have no idea how surprised and ecstatic I am. This is a man (Dalton) who has not woken up once before noon since we have been in town and all he has left is some light packing (the previous day I had asked him what he was bringing and his response was mostly just clothes he’ll buy everything else new in Mississippi – this is worthy of another rant in itself)? We get our stuff ready and he still needs some time. No problem, we’ll go fill our gas tank and grab a bite to eat so we can hit the road with a vengeance. We get back from this endeavor about 45 minutes later and this is when frustration starts to rear its ugly head. Dalton has appeared to make minimal progress and still hasn’t heard from his buddy who is riding out with him. I begin spearheading his packing, asking is he taking this, that the other, where can I put this and so on and so forth. We make some good progress and leave his house shortly after 11.
Still in somewhat good spirits and as we pull up to his buddy’s house, Dalton comes over and asks how we are getting there. I respond why the Garmin C550 of course. This bad boy has led us across the country with no trouble and surly a landmark the size of the Grand Canyon should be no problem for it. This is when Dalton informs me he needs to stop for smokes and a possible burger. I tell him cool, you do that, we are going to the Grand Canyon. Now I honestly tell him this calmly and tell him we will text him directions along the way. I wasn’t that upset, I just figured he would naturally drive faster and be able to catch up a half an hour of driving time. He is fine with this and finally we are on the road.
Early estimates indicate this is going to be about a 5 hour drive; we should be getting there about 5:30 local time, just in time to watch a sunset over the Canyon, imagine our luck! I want to make it even sooner so I am flying down these desert roads. Doing great until I realize we haven’t seen a gas station, a sign for a gas station, or even a flipping sign telling us not to expect a gas station for X amount of miles. No problem, this is why God himself invited the Garmin C550. We politely ask Garmin for the nearest gas station locations. Only result is a 30 mile detour. Now I should mention, I had the foresight to look for this while we still had more than a quarter tank of gas. What do we do? Take a 60 mile total detour or possibly run out of gas in the dessert? We do that sensible thing and take the detour. I am not happy but I have been making up enough time where it should only set us back 20 minutes or so.
After gas and booking down some hilly roads (for the record those Roadrunner and Wiley E. Coyote cartoons have got the roads and scenery down to a T) we are back on the path. Problem is Dalton has passed us at some point and is having problems with directions. We get him somewhat straightened out and it even sounds like we are going catch up to him soon. Then weird shit starts to happen. Our directions seem to be wrong and the Garmin is quickly recalculating to show us getting there closer to 8:30. Right about this same time we are changing time zones and my phone wants to Hot Sync with a CPU. Look phone, that shit ain’t going to happen. I got enough on my plate and don’t need you acting a fool. After it won’t stop requesting a hot sync (it literally will not stop and will not allow me to use any other functions like I don’t know, make a phone call!) I do something I am not very proud of. I show that phone who is boss and let out all the frustration that has been mounting. A few smacks against the steering wheel and I am pretty sure I have killed my phone. Although I am fairly confident it was broken before, I immediately regret beating my phone like it owed me money but what is done is done. We need to focus on the task at hand and get our asses to the Grand Canyon. We stop for gas and food for Justin and continue on our way. It is important to mention here that we are now following directions that my navigator Mat has set up for me Yes, we have lost so much confidence in the GPS we are going to use a rinky dink $1 atlas purchased from Wal-Mart for general geography purposes.
Time goes on and we cannot get my phone to act right and cannot contact Dalton to make sure he is alive. I don’t care. I don’t care about anything at this point but seeing the Grand Canyon. Dalton be damned, Garmin be damned, my phone be damned, I will not be denied. And then I see the lights. Arizona’s finest claims he has got me for criminal speeding, I try the “but daddy is a cop” but it is no use. He gives me a ticket; states I can take traffic school back home and this will cancel the ticket out and asks me to slow down.
At this point I realize the universe will not allow me to see the Grand Canyon today. I tap out and we pull over for gas and dinner. We finally reach Dalton; he took a wrong turn somewhere and is about three hours away from us. He agrees that we will just meet up in the next few days and tells us to enjoy the Grand Canyon. Mat, Justin and I agree that it will be best if we get as close to the canyon tonight so we can get to it (God willing that is) early in the day. We drive another two hours and reach the Holiday Inn about 10 minutes from the park entrance.
I don’t know how many miles we drove this day but we were in the car almost 12 hours and three tanks of gas. Who could have seen it coming?
The happy ending? I had to get you to read this long post somehow right? But honestly the happy ending is this didn’t happen in Utah. Had this been in Utah locusts would have swarmed, floods would rain from the heavens and the first born male of every house hold would be killed. God I still hate Utah.
After 5 days off the road Mat, Justin and I were set to hit the road. I wish Dalton had felt the same. Even though he had known about his upcoming move he hadn’t packed a thing up until about 6PM the night before. He swore he would be ready and we would be hitting the road by 10AM at the latest. That’s cool, Grand Canyon isn’t too far (according to our estimations), and as long as we get there with some sunlight left I am happy. I am going to trust my friend
When I wake up a little after 8AM, Dalton seems to be following through with his word. He has showered, changed his oil, cleaned and vacuumed his car and just had to finish a little bit of packing. You have no idea how surprised and ecstatic I am. This is a man (Dalton) who has not woken up once before noon since we have been in town and all he has left is some light packing (the previous day I had asked him what he was bringing and his response was mostly just clothes he’ll buy everything else new in Mississippi – this is worthy of another rant in itself)? We get our stuff ready and he still needs some time. No problem, we’ll go fill our gas tank and grab a bite to eat so we can hit the road with a vengeance. We get back from this endeavor about 45 minutes later and this is when frustration starts to rear its ugly head. Dalton has appeared to make minimal progress and still hasn’t heard from his buddy who is riding out with him. I begin spearheading his packing, asking is he taking this, that the other, where can I put this and so on and so forth. We make some good progress and leave his house shortly after 11.
Still in somewhat good spirits and as we pull up to his buddy’s house, Dalton comes over and asks how we are getting there. I respond why the Garmin C550 of course. This bad boy has led us across the country with no trouble and surly a landmark the size of the Grand Canyon should be no problem for it. This is when Dalton informs me he needs to stop for smokes and a possible burger. I tell him cool, you do that, we are going to the Grand Canyon. Now I honestly tell him this calmly and tell him we will text him directions along the way. I wasn’t that upset, I just figured he would naturally drive faster and be able to catch up a half an hour of driving time. He is fine with this and finally we are on the road.
Early estimates indicate this is going to be about a 5 hour drive; we should be getting there about 5:30 local time, just in time to watch a sunset over the Canyon, imagine our luck! I want to make it even sooner so I am flying down these desert roads. Doing great until I realize we haven’t seen a gas station, a sign for a gas station, or even a flipping sign telling us not to expect a gas station for X amount of miles. No problem, this is why God himself invited the Garmin C550. We politely ask Garmin for the nearest gas station locations. Only result is a 30 mile detour. Now I should mention, I had the foresight to look for this while we still had more than a quarter tank of gas. What do we do? Take a 60 mile total detour or possibly run out of gas in the dessert? We do that sensible thing and take the detour. I am not happy but I have been making up enough time where it should only set us back 20 minutes or so.
After gas and booking down some hilly roads (for the record those Roadrunner and Wiley E. Coyote cartoons have got the roads and scenery down to a T) we are back on the path. Problem is Dalton has passed us at some point and is having problems with directions. We get him somewhat straightened out and it even sounds like we are going catch up to him soon. Then weird shit starts to happen. Our directions seem to be wrong and the Garmin is quickly recalculating to show us getting there closer to 8:30. Right about this same time we are changing time zones and my phone wants to Hot Sync with a CPU. Look phone, that shit ain’t going to happen. I got enough on my plate and don’t need you acting a fool. After it won’t stop requesting a hot sync (it literally will not stop and will not allow me to use any other functions like I don’t know, make a phone call!) I do something I am not very proud of. I show that phone who is boss and let out all the frustration that has been mounting. A few smacks against the steering wheel and I am pretty sure I have killed my phone. Although I am fairly confident it was broken before, I immediately regret beating my phone like it owed me money but what is done is done. We need to focus on the task at hand and get our asses to the Grand Canyon. We stop for gas and food for Justin and continue on our way. It is important to mention here that we are now following directions that my navigator Mat has set up for me Yes, we have lost so much confidence in the GPS we are going to use a rinky dink $1 atlas purchased from Wal-Mart for general geography purposes.
Time goes on and we cannot get my phone to act right and cannot contact Dalton to make sure he is alive. I don’t care. I don’t care about anything at this point but seeing the Grand Canyon. Dalton be damned, Garmin be damned, my phone be damned, I will not be denied. And then I see the lights. Arizona’s finest claims he has got me for criminal speeding, I try the “but daddy is a cop” but it is no use. He gives me a ticket; states I can take traffic school back home and this will cancel the ticket out and asks me to slow down.
At this point I realize the universe will not allow me to see the Grand Canyon today. I tap out and we pull over for gas and dinner. We finally reach Dalton; he took a wrong turn somewhere and is about three hours away from us. He agrees that we will just meet up in the next few days and tells us to enjoy the Grand Canyon. Mat, Justin and I agree that it will be best if we get as close to the canyon tonight so we can get to it (God willing that is) early in the day. We drive another two hours and reach the Holiday Inn about 10 minutes from the park entrance.
I don’t know how many miles we drove this day but we were in the car almost 12 hours and three tanks of gas. Who could have seen it coming?
The happy ending? I had to get you to read this long post somehow right? But honestly the happy ending is this didn’t happen in Utah. Had this been in Utah locusts would have swarmed, floods would rain from the heavens and the first born male of every house hold would be killed. God I still hate Utah.
San Diego Recap - Post by James
Weather wasn’t as good as advertised, seeing as is it rained in three of the five days we were there. But when it was nice, it was the tops, and it beat the hell out of Michigan snow. The local feel we got by hanging out the Dalton and his Navy buddies was nice. I think all three of us felt as if we belonged to the Imperial Beach family, although that’s not necessarily a good thing. Food selection and quality were off the charts. With authentic Mexican literally on every corner, great casual dining choices and plenty of fast food choices (Jack in the Box, Carl’s Jr., Wienershcienzel just to name a few not readily available in the Midwest) there was food for any taste and budget. Wish we had spent more time doing tourist-y activities. Beyond sampling the local restaurants and bars, we didn’t experience much of San Diego beyond the Gaslamp District and Pacific Ocean. Fun factor still gets a 10 and now we have a reason to come back.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
pic site has been updated
i loaded up a few more pics in the san diego and vegas folders. i dont know if they are seperated or not, it could be a single folder called san diego/vegas. still waiting on james to put all of his on photobucket and facebook.
pics
we ate at big kahuna burger today as well. you may recognize the name from Pulp Fiction. "thats that Hawaiian burger joint right?" it was pretty good but i think they created the restaurant wayyy after the movie came out to try to capitalize on it.
EDIT: and all those homo posts about marrying dogs and other dudes, those were created by james.
pics
we ate at big kahuna burger today as well. you may recognize the name from Pulp Fiction. "thats that Hawaiian burger joint right?" it was pretty good but i think they created the restaurant wayyy after the movie came out to try to capitalize on it.
EDIT: and all those homo posts about marrying dogs and other dudes, those were created by james.
Meet Bo
Meet Bo. He is amazing. I want to have like 10,000 of his babies. He is low maintenance but still ready to party hard. If it didn’t mean it would ruin my chance of moving out here and marrying Olson, I would honestly consider dog-napping Bo and bringing him back home. Or leaving him somewhere in Texas after he poops in my car. Stupid dog!
James goes gay. No one really suprised.
I have fallen in love. Sorry Nessers, this is Jeremiah Chester Olson, aka Ox, aka Olson, aka the love of my life. It has been a whirlwind romance but in just 5 short days he has won my heart. Whether it’s his humble nature from a South Dakota upbringing, his fondness for good whiskey or just his general flair for the finer things in life (including but not limited to pickled eggs and Tijuana hot dogs) he is a 10. Oh Ox, when will you be mine?
wtf weather
it's rained like half the time we've been here. i thought this place was supposed to be a weather utopia. how are we supposed to go to jack hanna's famous san diego zoo when the weather sucks half the time? 300 days of sunshine a year my ass.
Monday, February 16, 2009
San Diego Bikers don't have bottom rockers - not bad ass
Last night we went to The Bullpen, a “biker bar” according to Dalton. When we walked in there was about three other people in there, including the bar tender. We decide to stay and pound a few drinks out. The bar slowly fills up and we begin to meet the cast of characters. There was Frank, a one legged bad ass who will have his prosthetic in by Wednesday. V, a beanie wearing fighter who was apparently looking for trouble, and my favorite: Turkey. Turkey definitely looked homeless, was fishing for people to buy him drinks and gives out free headbutts. Yeah headbutts. Turkey also does not seem to understand the concept of a toothbrush. You could literally smell his rotted mouth from about two and a half feet away. The drinks were stiff and cheap, a dangerous combination. After shutting the bar down (bartender did last call at like 1:25, lame) we make our way back home. A Jack in the Box pit stop was in order where we ordered 15 sliders and 15 tacos (we never really understood where we came up with these numbers for five guys but drunk math does not require logic). While at Jack in the Box, one person got out of the car and began wandering around. Yeah, maybe we didn’t need to drink until 2AM. He later induced his own vomit.
Day 1 in San Diego - Mexican House Party results in 0 stabbings
First night in San Diego was a great way to break ourselves into the city. Start of the night was spent at a Mexican house party in Chula Vista. After soaking in the culture and avoiding stabbings we head out to a bar called The Plank. A lot of the same crowd from the party came to the bar and the good times rolled. Two people got sick, one at the actual bar rail and the other in the smallest bathroom I have ever seen in a bar, and remained in the bar but a third, non-puking person was given the boot. They eventually Mcguyvered their way back into the bar and stayed until closing. After this we walked back to Keebler’s house (more to come on San Diego’s most Bad ass man later but quick FYI – he is the guy with the cast on getting stabbed by Dalton) we listened to him argue with his girlfriend. After they finished she came out and made everyone the best grilled cheese sandwiches this side of the Mississippi. Keebler must be a pretty convincing guy.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Casa Bonita - Post by James
Disclaimer – If you are unfamiliar with the Southpark episode where Cartman kidnaps Butters so he can take his spot at Kyle’s birthday party at Casa Bonita I highly recommend watching it before reading this post. If you are unfamiliar with Souhpark in general terms what are you doing reading our road trip blog?
Driving down the highway you first see the tower for Casa Bonita and it starts. A magical feeling inside of you begins to surface and by the time you pull into the strip mall (yes, this palace of childlike wonderment is located in a strip mall complete with a dollar store right next door) you are ready to burst. Quick factoids about Casa Bonita
- Mexican Cuisine, including all you can eat taco/enchilada combos
- Its dinner theater combined with Chucky Cheese esque attractions.
- The building is huge. Big enough to accommodate over 1100 guests
- The cliff divers are real and awesome
- Gift shop, old time photos, caricatures and a puppet show
- Black Bart’s hideout is scary, scary enough to make a grown man jump
- Eating a second helping of the taco/enchilada plate is not recommended. It is not good for you or good for the two other people who have to share confining spaces
- While dining your table has a little flag. Need something? Raise the flag and your waiter would be more than happy to bring the grande gringo mas tacos.
One final thing about Casa Bonita. It is unknown whether or not Mexicans came with the lease to the building or if they are hired for atmospheric purposes. I think some white guy in Denver knows you can get cheap, efficient work out of these people.
Driving down the highway you first see the tower for Casa Bonita and it starts. A magical feeling inside of you begins to surface and by the time you pull into the strip mall (yes, this palace of childlike wonderment is located in a strip mall complete with a dollar store right next door) you are ready to burst. Quick factoids about Casa Bonita
- Mexican Cuisine, including all you can eat taco/enchilada combos
- Its dinner theater combined with Chucky Cheese esque attractions.
- The building is huge. Big enough to accommodate over 1100 guests
- The cliff divers are real and awesome
- Gift shop, old time photos, caricatures and a puppet show
- Black Bart’s hideout is scary, scary enough to make a grown man jump
- Eating a second helping of the taco/enchilada plate is not recommended. It is not good for you or good for the two other people who have to share confining spaces
- While dining your table has a little flag. Need something? Raise the flag and your waiter would be more than happy to bring the grande gringo mas tacos.
One final thing about Casa Bonita. It is unknown whether or not Mexicans came with the lease to the building or if they are hired for atmospheric purposes. I think some white guy in Denver knows you can get cheap, efficient work out of these people.
Vegas Baby
Sorry for late updates - Should be getting better soon. Here is what happened in Vegas
After we settled down in our room at The Excalibur, we went down and played a few rounds of Spanish 21 together. We then decided to spend a little time doing our own thing but promised to meet back up in an hour or so.
Mat went to go try his hand at craps and turns out he was a natural. He rolled 12 sevens in a row and was up a few large. Deciding he had had enough gaming for now he left while still on his hot streak to go to the bar for a few celebratory drinks. After buying the bar a few rounds and getting himself half in the bag he went back to the tables. He was asked to leave the gaming area after he accused the dice of conspiracy and demanded the money he had lost back.
Justin hit the strip right trolling for a good time. He found just that when he met CiCi, a dancer for Cirque de Solie’s “Zoomanity” at the MGM bar. He didn’t make it back to the room until 10:30 the next morning.
Meanwhile, James played penny slots and sipped on Shirley Temples for hours. He ended up losing $5 but was OK with that. He had known he might go a “little crazy” in Vegas. He went back up to the room and fell asleep with the TV on. He missed his girlfriend.
After we settled down in our room at The Excalibur, we went down and played a few rounds of Spanish 21 together. We then decided to spend a little time doing our own thing but promised to meet back up in an hour or so.
Mat went to go try his hand at craps and turns out he was a natural. He rolled 12 sevens in a row and was up a few large. Deciding he had had enough gaming for now he left while still on his hot streak to go to the bar for a few celebratory drinks. After buying the bar a few rounds and getting himself half in the bag he went back to the tables. He was asked to leave the gaming area after he accused the dice of conspiracy and demanded the money he had lost back.
Justin hit the strip right trolling for a good time. He found just that when he met CiCi, a dancer for Cirque de Solie’s “Zoomanity” at the MGM bar. He didn’t make it back to the room until 10:30 the next morning.
Meanwhile, James played penny slots and sipped on Shirley Temples for hours. He ended up losing $5 but was OK with that. He had known he might go a “little crazy” in Vegas. He went back up to the room and fell asleep with the TV on. He missed his girlfriend.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
James bags on Utah. Will not return
The morning of the 12th started out so nice. Smashed on continental breakfast, packed car up and hit the road ready for Las Vegas. We knew we were in for a long drive, original Garmin estimate was ten and a half hours. No big deal, we knew we were going to have days like this and at the end of the journey was Vegas. There was just one thing we didn’t count on. Flipping Utah.
While traveling down I-70, you will encounter a 106 mile stretch of highway that’s just kinda there.. Aside from the road itself there isn’t anything to show that this was charted territory. There are no gas stations, restaurants, houses, not even a Wal-Mart. This is in America by the way. 106 miles of nothing. Thanks Utah.
The problem wasn’t the 106 miles of nothingness: it’s what happened in this nothingness. At first this stretch seemed great. Awesome mountain views and we would be able to make up some travel time with the confidence that we wouldn’t be seeing any cops for quite some time. Then we hit a snow storm. Not just a few flurries but a get your ass in the house (wait a minute there are no houses out) storm. It was so bad we saw an Explorer stuck only to be pulled out by a Lexus. Early reports estimate this little episode set us back about 45 minutes.
We still had love for Utah at this point; I mean she can’t help what Mother Nature has up her sleeve. And then this happened.
After finally getting out of the mountains we had to stop and get gas. Vegas was less than 300 miles away and we needed to see those bright lights now more than ever. When we go to get back on the highway we notice the police have it blocked off. Great, well at least they are waving us to the detour they have set up. We drive down the road as we are instructed by the fine men and women of the Utah police force and what do you know, this road is shut down too. This continues for quite some time, total detour was over 30 miles and added about an hour on to the trip.
By this point we are livid and cursing the state for all the wrongs it has done. I mean what’s their deal anyway? It’s like someone carved out a piece of Canada and sent retards out there to settle the lands. Do I come to your job and show you how to marry 6 of your cousins? Utah has been bumped, it’s now worse than Ohio. They may have snow storms, cousin marrying retards and inept public service but at least they don’t have stretches of mountains with nothing in them.
While traveling down I-70, you will encounter a 106 mile stretch of highway that’s just kinda there.. Aside from the road itself there isn’t anything to show that this was charted territory. There are no gas stations, restaurants, houses, not even a Wal-Mart. This is in America by the way. 106 miles of nothing. Thanks Utah.
The problem wasn’t the 106 miles of nothingness: it’s what happened in this nothingness. At first this stretch seemed great. Awesome mountain views and we would be able to make up some travel time with the confidence that we wouldn’t be seeing any cops for quite some time. Then we hit a snow storm. Not just a few flurries but a get your ass in the house (wait a minute there are no houses out) storm. It was so bad we saw an Explorer stuck only to be pulled out by a Lexus. Early reports estimate this little episode set us back about 45 minutes.
We still had love for Utah at this point; I mean she can’t help what Mother Nature has up her sleeve. And then this happened.
After finally getting out of the mountains we had to stop and get gas. Vegas was less than 300 miles away and we needed to see those bright lights now more than ever. When we go to get back on the highway we notice the police have it blocked off. Great, well at least they are waving us to the detour they have set up. We drive down the road as we are instructed by the fine men and women of the Utah police force and what do you know, this road is shut down too. This continues for quite some time, total detour was over 30 miles and added about an hour on to the trip.
By this point we are livid and cursing the state for all the wrongs it has done. I mean what’s their deal anyway? It’s like someone carved out a piece of Canada and sent retards out there to settle the lands. Do I come to your job and show you how to marry 6 of your cousins? Utah has been bumped, it’s now worse than Ohio. They may have snow storms, cousin marrying retards and inept public service but at least they don’t have stretches of mountains with nothing in them.
Friday, February 13, 2009
the new lamest state is...
Utah. Utah has given us 2 snowstorms, ridiculous fog, ice, and now a potential zombie apocalypse. We came up to an exit (at one stretch theres over 100 miles of no gas stations or restaurants) and they’ve got the freeway closed off and part of the town closed off. Lots of police for what is probably a tiny town and they’ve got barriers and wandymajigs directing traffic. Now we’re driving along some bum-f road following a Subaru and a semi trying to get back to a legit freeway. If this is the zombie apocalypse I’m going to be super pissed I’m in GD Utah. Aaaaand another cop just flew past us in the opposite direction with his lights flashing. Delightful. The zombie apocalypse. Hopefully I can post this message before I turn. Our gas tank’s range is about 200 miles and we’ve got a lot of food and water.
Turns out we lived. Still don't know what that was all about though.
Turns out we lived. Still don't know what that was all about though.
Casa Bonita: where dreams come true
You thought it was a myth, that it was just a fake restaurant created for south park. You thought wrong. Casa bonita: food, fun, and a festive atmosphere. Let me round up some of the things that casa bonita had: cliff divers, 2 arcades, mariachi band, unlimited chips and salsa, fire jugglers, and a spookhouse. That’s right, a Mexican restaurant with a spookhouse. It’s over FIFTY THOUSAND square feet of delight.
I tried to find a youtube clip from the south park episode but didnt have much luck. I think its episode 611 or something.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
uh oh, drunken blog numero uno!
we hit like 4 bars downtown, or waht we denverites call 'lodo.' i dont know what sort of obsessions denver has in closing bars at like 10 o clock but some of these cats were shut down eeeeearly. we went to frodo's irish pub and got some local beers. 3 dollar local brews from fort collins. after that we rolled to SING SING which was a dueling piano bar filled with 30 somethings who couldnt do the wave or rock to the music worth a GD. a buck pints and we were chiilling for there for at least a few hours. for some reason james picked the seastss in the hurricane section and i had wind blowing in my face until we moved. wtf james... we are putting you on notice. then we went to some mexican place with chicks salsa dancing. approx the size of a small hotel room but these chicks were dancing all over the place and "had ass" acording to other members of the party. i cant name names though.
if you are ever in denver, and if you are wise you would at least consider moving here cuz its pretty badass im not going to lie, go to roos bar on west park avenue. john is from green bay and we chilled with him for a couple hours, definitely a cool dude at a cool bar. you cant beat that place. We just want to get an apartment with John and hang out cuz he's that coollllllllllll.
if you are ever in denver, and if you are wise you would at least consider moving here cuz its pretty badass im not going to lie, go to roos bar on west park avenue. john is from green bay and we chilled with him for a couple hours, definitely a cool dude at a cool bar. you cant beat that place. We just want to get an apartment with John and hang out cuz he's that coollllllllllll.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Las Fotografias!
If I'm your friend on facebook you can check out my photo albums on my profile. I've got to resize pics and find a website to upload them to for the rest of you. flickr only allows 100 mb per month, which is nothing.
Denver
St Louis
I didn't get much for pictures in Kansas City cuz the Harley Davidson factory wouldn't let us take pictures for security reasons and I didn't take my camera to Westport (one of the bar areas in KC.)
Speaking of the Harley factory, it was quite impressive. The processes they use are quite interesting and there's quality people everywhere, which is nice to see nowadays. The custom bike area was pretty sick, they have 1 person build the bike from start to finish ala West Coast Choppers. Best moment has got to be the tour guide completely forgetting what he was talking about and standing dumbfounded for 30 seconds. Why? A hispanic chick walked by who was well to do up top.
Denver
St Louis
I didn't get much for pictures in Kansas City cuz the Harley Davidson factory wouldn't let us take pictures for security reasons and I didn't take my camera to Westport (one of the bar areas in KC.)
Speaking of the Harley factory, it was quite impressive. The processes they use are quite interesting and there's quality people everywhere, which is nice to see nowadays. The custom bike area was pretty sick, they have 1 person build the bike from start to finish ala West Coast Choppers. Best moment has got to be the tour guide completely forgetting what he was talking about and standing dumbfounded for 30 seconds. Why? A hispanic chick walked by who was well to do up top.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
F'ING CUPHOLDERS!
1. Kansas is now the most boring state in the country. Even Ohio KTFOs Kansas.
2. Last night James agreed to marry an old she-hobo even after she suggested he could be a homosexual.
3. We managed to lose the air mattresses off the roof of the car in suburban Kansas City. Pics may be to follow.
4. While crossing the Kansasian wasteland, my suitcase also decided to go for a trip of its own. Wily son of a b survived with a few bumps and bruises. Will have to inspect cargo for concealed damage at the next hotel.
5. KC to Denver is a looooongass way.
6. We met a racist truck driver at the continental breakfast. He managed to puke all over his table in the middle of his meal.
7. There is a ghost gas station in Goodland, KS. Garmin swears it exists, it did not.
2. Last night James agreed to marry an old she-hobo even after she suggested he could be a homosexual.
3. We managed to lose the air mattresses off the roof of the car in suburban Kansas City. Pics may be to follow.
4. While crossing the Kansasian wasteland, my suitcase also decided to go for a trip of its own. Wily son of a b survived with a few bumps and bruises. Will have to inspect cargo for concealed damage at the next hotel.
5. KC to Denver is a looooongass way.
6. We met a racist truck driver at the continental breakfast. He managed to puke all over his table in the middle of his meal.
7. There is a ghost gas station in Goodland, KS. Garmin swears it exists, it did not.
the terrorists won last night...a post by james
We arrived at the Best Western a little bit before 11PM last night. After going over 700 miles through five states and taking a few hours to explore St. Louis we did what any wise traveler would do: go out and sample the local night life. I mean, bars are open until 3AM; we would be fools not to go.
After a quick call to the front desk we have our number. The front desk swears by Yellow Cab Company and says they are the quickest in town. We pull out the local hospitality guide and give the cab company our address and the address of the bar where we want to start out at. Read it right off the paper, as it was written – remember this part. Flash forward 20 minutes and a few cocktails later, the cab is here and we are ready to roll. Being as observant as I am I cannot help but notice our driver is not from America. That’s cool; we already won the war on terror so I doubt he is going to do anything too drastic with us in the car. What am I worried about? I am sure that this guy is as American as apple pie AND I have been told by a local, whose job responsibilities include helping out of towners better understand the city.
The cabbie has the address from our original call and begins driving. About two seconds after our doors shut he continues the phone call he was on when we got in the cab. Part of me is offended as I have always thought cab drivers should at least attempt small talk with their customers, perhaps even becoming friends by the end of the ride. Not to mention I am a talker, particularly when I am out of town I try and meet as many locals as possible. Once again, no big deal, I got two other people to flap my gums to.
After about ten minutes of driving and talking on his cell phone, our driver stops at a local residence. The neighborhood was very well to do and I would have love to have spent more time there but dammit I am only in Kansas City for one night and I planned on drinking some beers. I don’t think that’s going to happen here. Justin, Mat and I all look at each other wondering who is going to tell this guy that he is lost, slow, or both. After, he puts the phone down long enough to talk to us and ponder why we don’t seem happy about our proposed destination. He claims that this is the address we gave his dispatcher and we were wrong. Customer service is alive and well! He takes us to the bar we originally wanted to go to and attempts to charge us the full amount for his time and mileage accrued. I am about flip. I start explaining that we gave him the right address in the first place; this is his fault and honestly contemplate committing the cab equivalent of dining and ditching. Cooler heads prevail and Mat pays the full amount (and a tip on top of it – now that’s a class act). After getting out of the cab we vowed that we would not let this ruin the night and sure enough we didn’t. We went to five different bars in the historic Westport district and had a good time. Highly recommend stopping in this part of town for anyone who may be in or around K.C.
And the address he originally took us to was on West-OVER Street, we wanted West-PORT. I may comprehend the English language better but at least he can speak two languages so I guess he wins.
After a quick call to the front desk we have our number. The front desk swears by Yellow Cab Company and says they are the quickest in town. We pull out the local hospitality guide and give the cab company our address and the address of the bar where we want to start out at. Read it right off the paper, as it was written – remember this part. Flash forward 20 minutes and a few cocktails later, the cab is here and we are ready to roll. Being as observant as I am I cannot help but notice our driver is not from America. That’s cool; we already won the war on terror so I doubt he is going to do anything too drastic with us in the car. What am I worried about? I am sure that this guy is as American as apple pie AND I have been told by a local, whose job responsibilities include helping out of towners better understand the city.
The cabbie has the address from our original call and begins driving. About two seconds after our doors shut he continues the phone call he was on when we got in the cab. Part of me is offended as I have always thought cab drivers should at least attempt small talk with their customers, perhaps even becoming friends by the end of the ride. Not to mention I am a talker, particularly when I am out of town I try and meet as many locals as possible. Once again, no big deal, I got two other people to flap my gums to.
After about ten minutes of driving and talking on his cell phone, our driver stops at a local residence. The neighborhood was very well to do and I would have love to have spent more time there but dammit I am only in Kansas City for one night and I planned on drinking some beers. I don’t think that’s going to happen here. Justin, Mat and I all look at each other wondering who is going to tell this guy that he is lost, slow, or both. After, he puts the phone down long enough to talk to us and ponder why we don’t seem happy about our proposed destination. He claims that this is the address we gave his dispatcher and we were wrong. Customer service is alive and well! He takes us to the bar we originally wanted to go to and attempts to charge us the full amount for his time and mileage accrued. I am about flip. I start explaining that we gave him the right address in the first place; this is his fault and honestly contemplate committing the cab equivalent of dining and ditching. Cooler heads prevail and Mat pays the full amount (and a tip on top of it – now that’s a class act). After getting out of the cab we vowed that we would not let this ruin the night and sure enough we didn’t. We went to five different bars in the historic Westport district and had a good time. Highly recommend stopping in this part of town for anyone who may be in or around K.C.
And the address he originally took us to was on West-OVER Street, we wanted West-PORT. I may comprehend the English language better but at least he can speak two languages so I guess he wins.
Space time continuum?
We’ve managed to see Paris, Brazil, Lebanon, Texas, Mexico, and another Belleville already. You’ve gotta have some stones as a mayor or settler to go and hijack the name Paris for your Podunk town in Indiana. We’ve also gotten text messages sent from the future. I don’t know if we’ve got a Donnie Darko thing going on where there’s a tangent universe that is destine to collide with the primary universe unless someone gets a jet engine dropped on them but things have been a bit trippy.
The Budweiser grounds are f’n huge. It’s like a city in a city. They gave us free beer at the end but it was only 2 10 ounce glasses and they didn’t even have that crazy of beer. You’d think that a company of that magnitude would brew more than generic piss beer. The only interesting beer they made was some blueberry stuff and I overheard the bartender saying they had that stuff for a week on the tour then dumped it. Each of us got mix and match sixers of various stuff from the gift shop.
Possible reviews to follow. Correction: possible drunken reviews to follow. Those will probably be infinitely more illegible and entertaining. Double correction: the lame hotel's fridge doesn't work so we'll have to postpone beer reviews.
We scoped the horses, apparently there are like 250 of those beasts around their various locations in the country. In the stable one of them must have been eating something funky cuz he decided to blast ass quite loudly while the whole tour group was less than 20 feet away. Some of the other people were trying not to laugh but lets be honest, a horse audibly farting during the middle of a brewery tour is funny. You can’t not laugh.
We then hit the famous Arch. We rode in what they called a tram to the top. To get an idea of the size of this thing, imagine a dog kennel. Then cram 600 lbs of grade A badass into it. We get to the top and hand to god, that damn thing was swaying. At first you don’t realize it but eventually we all started freaking out. The thing is 630 feet tall, I’d prefer it stay stationary while I’m at the top (and yes, I fully understand it has to be capable of movement due to weather and metal expansion/contraction, that’s not the point here.) Now we all have headaches that even 800 milli can’t cure.
We ate at Jack in the Box for the first time, unfortunately it was in the ghetto. Food was good though. And if you were wondering if people from St. Louis do talk like that lame rapper Nelly (remember him?) where they say ‘hurr’ instead of ‘here’ they do at the Jack in the Box on Gravois. A girl went “shopping on Friday, surrday, AND sunndy.”
The Budweiser grounds are f’n huge. It’s like a city in a city. They gave us free beer at the end but it was only 2 10 ounce glasses and they didn’t even have that crazy of beer. You’d think that a company of that magnitude would brew more than generic piss beer. The only interesting beer they made was some blueberry stuff and I overheard the bartender saying they had that stuff for a week on the tour then dumped it. Each of us got mix and match sixers of various stuff from the gift shop.
Possible reviews to follow. Correction: possible drunken reviews to follow. Those will probably be infinitely more illegible and entertaining. Double correction: the lame hotel's fridge doesn't work so we'll have to postpone beer reviews.
We scoped the horses, apparently there are like 250 of those beasts around their various locations in the country. In the stable one of them must have been eating something funky cuz he decided to blast ass quite loudly while the whole tour group was less than 20 feet away. Some of the other people were trying not to laugh but lets be honest, a horse audibly farting during the middle of a brewery tour is funny. You can’t not laugh.
We then hit the famous Arch. We rode in what they called a tram to the top. To get an idea of the size of this thing, imagine a dog kennel. Then cram 600 lbs of grade A badass into it. We get to the top and hand to god, that damn thing was swaying. At first you don’t realize it but eventually we all started freaking out. The thing is 630 feet tall, I’d prefer it stay stationary while I’m at the top (and yes, I fully understand it has to be capable of movement due to weather and metal expansion/contraction, that’s not the point here.) Now we all have headaches that even 800 milli can’t cure.
We ate at Jack in the Box for the first time, unfortunately it was in the ghetto. Food was good though. And if you were wondering if people from St. Louis do talk like that lame rapper Nelly (remember him?) where they say ‘hurr’ instead of ‘here’ they do at the Jack in the Box on Gravois. A girl went “shopping on Friday, surrday, AND sunndy.”
Monday, February 9, 2009
The most boring states in the country so far are...
every state we've driven in. indiana? flat and farmy. ohio? flat and farmy. illinois? flat and farmy. we're about 30 minutes from St. Louis and we are LIVEBLOGGING the drive. Illinois is still flat and farmy.
Current weather: 66 and partially sunny. A bit of a breeze but no snow on the rolling farmland. James is attributing this to his Hulk Hogan Asics. Hopefully pics to come of these things later. We've just seen a billboard for "foot high pies." wtf. I don't know if we'll be able to get pictures of those.
Current weather: 66 and partially sunny. A bit of a breeze but no snow on the rolling farmland. James is attributing this to his Hulk Hogan Asics. Hopefully pics to come of these things later. We've just seen a billboard for "foot high pies." wtf. I don't know if we'll be able to get pictures of those.
it's like 1 am the night before we leave...
for some reason i have to wake up in 4 hours and im still up and packing...
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It is upon us...
So we are leaving tomorrow, bright and early at 6 am, hopefully. Packing is a real son of a b. What do you take on a cross country trip spanning every climate in the United States?
Six am departure time tomorrow to hopefully be in St. Louis around 2 pm. Anheuser Busch HQ/Brewery tours end at 4. Normally I wouldn't be interested in drinking their product but the tour is free and so is the beer at the end. The famous Arch is to follow. Onward from there until we hit KC.
I'm going to try to update this as regularly as possible, hopefully every day with some pics, day to day happenings, and nuggets of wisdom we learn on this enlightening journey across our fair country.
Six am departure time tomorrow to hopefully be in St. Louis around 2 pm. Anheuser Busch HQ/Brewery tours end at 4. Normally I wouldn't be interested in drinking their product but the tour is free and so is the beer at the end. The famous Arch is to follow. Onward from there until we hit KC.
I'm going to try to update this as regularly as possible, hopefully every day with some pics, day to day happenings, and nuggets of wisdom we learn on this enlightening journey across our fair country.
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