World's longest post - well worth a read

The story of our departure from San Diego is not so great. In fact, it was a disaster. It is a tale of miscommunication, heartbreak, and law breaking. Fret not, there is a happy ending.
After 5 days off the road Mat, Justin and I were set to hit the road. I wish Dalton had felt the same. Even though he had known about his upcoming move he hadn’t packed a thing up until about 6PM the night before. He swore he would be ready and we would be hitting the road by 10AM at the latest. That’s cool, Grand Canyon isn’t too far (according to our estimations), and as long as we get there with some sunlight left I am happy. I am going to trust my friend
When I wake up a little after 8AM, Dalton seems to be following through with his word. He has showered, changed his oil, cleaned and vacuumed his car and just had to finish a little bit of packing. You have no idea how surprised and ecstatic I am. This is a man (Dalton) who has not woken up once before noon since we have been in town and all he has left is some light packing (the previous day I had asked him what he was bringing and his response was mostly just clothes he’ll buy everything else new in Mississippi – this is worthy of another rant in itself)? We get our stuff ready and he still needs some time. No problem, we’ll go fill our gas tank and grab a bite to eat so we can hit the road with a vengeance. We get back from this endeavor about 45 minutes later and this is when frustration starts to rear its ugly head. Dalton has appeared to make minimal progress and still hasn’t heard from his buddy who is riding out with him. I begin spearheading his packing, asking is he taking this, that the other, where can I put this and so on and so forth. We make some good progress and leave his house shortly after 11.
Still in somewhat good spirits and as we pull up to his buddy’s house, Dalton comes over and asks how we are getting there. I respond why the Garmin C550 of course. This bad boy has led us across the country with no trouble and surly a landmark the size of the Grand Canyon should be no problem for it. This is when Dalton informs me he needs to stop for smokes and a possible burger. I tell him cool, you do that, we are going to the Grand Canyon. Now I honestly tell him this calmly and tell him we will text him directions along the way. I wasn’t that upset, I just figured he would naturally drive faster and be able to catch up a half an hour of driving time. He is fine with this and finally we are on the road.
Early estimates indicate this is going to be about a 5 hour drive; we should be getting there about 5:30 local time, just in time to watch a sunset over the Canyon, imagine our luck! I want to make it even sooner so I am flying down these desert roads. Doing great until I realize we haven’t seen a gas station, a sign for a gas station, or even a flipping sign telling us not to expect a gas station for X amount of miles. No problem, this is why God himself invited the Garmin C550. We politely ask Garmin for the nearest gas station locations. Only result is a 30 mile detour. Now I should mention, I had the foresight to look for this while we still had more than a quarter tank of gas. What do we do? Take a 60 mile total detour or possibly run out of gas in the dessert? We do that sensible thing and take the detour. I am not happy but I have been making up enough time where it should only set us back 20 minutes or so.
After gas and booking down some hilly roads (for the record those Roadrunner and Wiley E. Coyote cartoons have got the roads and scenery down to a T) we are back on the path. Problem is Dalton has passed us at some point and is having problems with directions. We get him somewhat straightened out and it even sounds like we are going catch up to him soon. Then weird shit starts to happen. Our directions seem to be wrong and the Garmin is quickly recalculating to show us getting there closer to 8:30. Right about this same time we are changing time zones and my phone wants to Hot Sync with a CPU. Look phone, that shit ain’t going to happen. I got enough on my plate and don’t need you acting a fool. After it won’t stop requesting a hot sync (it literally will not stop and will not allow me to use any other functions like I don’t know, make a phone call!) I do something I am not very proud of. I show that phone who is boss and let out all the frustration that has been mounting. A few smacks against the steering wheel and I am pretty sure I have killed my phone. Although I am fairly confident it was broken before, I immediately regret beating my phone like it owed me money but what is done is done. We need to focus on the task at hand and get our asses to the Grand Canyon. We stop for gas and food for Justin and continue on our way. It is important to mention here that we are now following directions that my navigator Mat has set up for me Yes, we have lost so much confidence in the GPS we are going to use a rinky dink $1 atlas purchased from Wal-Mart for general geography purposes.
Time goes on and we cannot get my phone to act right and cannot contact Dalton to make sure he is alive. I don’t care. I don’t care about anything at this point but seeing the Grand Canyon. Dalton be damned, Garmin be damned, my phone be damned, I will not be denied. And then I see the lights. Arizona’s finest claims he has got me for criminal speeding, I try the “but daddy is a cop” but it is no use. He gives me a ticket; states I can take traffic school back home and this will cancel the ticket out and asks me to slow down.
At this point I realize the universe will not allow me to see the Grand Canyon today. I tap out and we pull over for gas and dinner. We finally reach Dalton; he took a wrong turn somewhere and is about three hours away from us. He agrees that we will just meet up in the next few days and tells us to enjoy the Grand Canyon. Mat, Justin and I agree that it will be best if we get as close to the canyon tonight so we can get to it (God willing that is) early in the day. We drive another two hours and reach the Holiday Inn about 10 minutes from the park entrance.
I don’t know how many miles we drove this day but we were in the car almost 12 hours and three tanks of gas. Who could have seen it coming?
The happy ending? I had to get you to read this long post somehow right? But honestly the happy ending is this didn’t happen in Utah. Had this been in Utah locusts would have swarmed, floods would rain from the heavens and the first born male of every house hold would be killed. God I still hate Utah.