James bags on Utah. Will not return

The morning of the 12th started out so nice. Smashed on continental breakfast, packed car up and hit the road ready for Las Vegas. We knew we were in for a long drive, original Garmin estimate was ten and a half hours. No big deal, we knew we were going to have days like this and at the end of the journey was Vegas. There was just one thing we didn’t count on. Flipping Utah.
While traveling down I-70, you will encounter a 106 mile stretch of highway that’s just kinda there.. Aside from the road itself there isn’t anything to show that this was charted territory. There are no gas stations, restaurants, houses, not even a Wal-Mart. This is in America by the way. 106 miles of nothing. Thanks Utah.
The problem wasn’t the 106 miles of nothingness: it’s what happened in this nothingness. At first this stretch seemed great. Awesome mountain views and we would be able to make up some travel time with the confidence that we wouldn’t be seeing any cops for quite some time. Then we hit a snow storm. Not just a few flurries but a get your ass in the house (wait a minute there are no houses out) storm. It was so bad we saw an Explorer stuck only to be pulled out by a Lexus. Early reports estimate this little episode set us back about 45 minutes.
We still had love for Utah at this point; I mean she can’t help what Mother Nature has up her sleeve. And then this happened.
After finally getting out of the mountains we had to stop and get gas. Vegas was less than 300 miles away and we needed to see those bright lights now more than ever. When we go to get back on the highway we notice the police have it blocked off. Great, well at least they are waving us to the detour they have set up. We drive down the road as we are instructed by the fine men and women of the Utah police force and what do you know, this road is shut down too. This continues for quite some time, total detour was over 30 miles and added about an hour on to the trip.
By this point we are livid and cursing the state for all the wrongs it has done. I mean what’s their deal anyway? It’s like someone carved out a piece of Canada and sent retards out there to settle the lands. Do I come to your job and show you how to marry 6 of your cousins? Utah has been bumped, it’s now worse than Ohio. They may have snow storms, cousin marrying retards and inept public service but at least they don’t have stretches of mountains with nothing in them.